finally.

heard a lot of things updated by my frens about him.

what i could say at this moment is---he is really an immature guy with childish thinking and someone who talk before think. 

so yea, end of story. 

weeks before, i still immersed in the romance he gave me and all the promises he used to tell me. all is because i still loving him. but then, after everything i heard, i realize, i really didn't know the real him at all. 

i will never hate him, because i know hating someone we used to love is hard and pointless. i will wish him awake from his fairy tale as earlier as he could. i wish he can finally find our what he really needs, wants and the right way of treating people right especially his loves one.

2more days i'm gotta turn to be 21st. and this mean lots to me.

as an indication of being an adult, who need to be responsible to myself, and people who surrounds me.

i'm here wishing that everyone surrounds us could be happy, and happiness. 

and yet, PEACE~~~

with love,

miko

back to december

it's been almost a month.
from we argued, till we broke up, getting back and trying to work things out, and finally totally broke up.
everything just happened way to fast.
the past few weeks were my really hard time.
i have to fight with my emotion, and control my mind not to be affected by what he did to me, and forced myself to study for my FINALS.


from the day he accept the deal for trying to build back the damage.
my heart never feel easy, cause even though he did accept, but i clearly know he never want the relation anymore, but still, i told myself never give up, just because i thought that is me the factor who made the wrong move by easily saying broke up so made things worst, thus i have to bear with the consequences.


initially, the deal is for one month, but guess what, he told me to stop, just right after 1 week.
and the day he said so, is 29th, which is our anniversary date. so make it nicely, we officially broke up at the 6th month.


at that week, i did something i wouldn't do, i lost myself, just to treasure him, as compensation? and hoping him to gain back the feeling. i was suffer, because i blamed on myself but hurting him, as he said that my suggesting break up broke his heart which made him lost all the feelings on me, within that 2 days.


i believed his words, i even blamed on myself more. so i tried harder to gain his heart. but finally i told myself to wake up.


until the day he mentioned about that, the next day was my exam. of course i m sad, as i've expected. but still i tell myself to stay strong and face my exam and wanted to do well in it. and finally i been through all that. with my broken heart, and numb feeling.


i clearly remembered how he treated me in that week. pretending, faking, forcing himself to hold my hand, hug me, kissed me..i knew that week, he almost went out with his buddies with gang of gals EVER NIGHT. of course, i'm sad, but still i hided all my sadness and turning it out with concern and calls. but finally what i got to know is, after 1 week we broke up, which suggested by him, the week after, he's already going for another gal. but the worst things for me is, he said that he wanna calm himself down and don't wanna go for any relation for current situation, but all of his words, was just so sarcastic to me after i get to know the truth.


maybe i should have known all these when the moment we get together at the begin. he can just came after me when he just broke up with his x girlfriend and his reason to me is, his heart already numb at their 6th months of being together. and how silly of me, believe about it.


well, i thought i've met my mr.right when i found him. at our first met during 2009 at his x girl friend's birthday party. the feelings of knowing each other with good feeling but can't take any move at that moment, until last year when we both really get back to mixing around and started to get close. everything is just so dramatic, and the romance is there. from the first time my heart telling me that we will get together in the future, and it really did. until now, we broke up, which is the part that i never expect and predict.


i can't deny that the past 6 months was really a very good memory for me. we travel together with frens, do a lot of things together, spend time with friends and family, went for road trip, and everything. of course by spending lots of time together, we get to know what each other's thinking as well. we can even know about what each of us gotta wear for the occasion, what we gotta say for the next words, and the next move..all of these made me thought of he's really the one i gotta spent my life with.


although when our story goes to the breaking part, my heart still never blame on him for not trying to get me back because all i remembered just all the happy moment we spent with but, when the moment i knew about he's going for another gal, and from his words all he mentioned about the gal with all his happiness and how good he praised about her..how perfect she is to him.


my heart broke, into even smaller part. i asked myself, is he really the one i've spent my time with for the past 6months with all my sincerity and love, cares? if i did, if he was, why he can does so when we just broke up for not even 1month? i'm doubt, i asked myself, did i treat him right for all the time? my heart whispering and answered me, i did. if i really do, why he can turned to become like that and treated me so? i don't understand. all the words he said to me before, is it just a sweet talk to make me happy for while? or he's just really a playboy who expert in love game?


i'm glad that all my frens support me, and telling me the fact that, he's just not that into me, he's just fooling me, he got another girl thus will dump you just like that....
but, no one know what my feeling when we both together, i know the feeling best, i heard his words, i marked it, i remembered it. but, till now, i still can't give myself a certain reason, why he will treat me so? although he threw every reasons of why he choose to leave to me, by twisting the fact, by backing up himself just to make himself pride? right?


at this moment, i think i've been to the stage of ---numb..i can easily speak out why we both broke up, telling my frens is he the one who did the wrong things, which is the real fact, but the louder i speak, the more my heart feel numb. i can't even feel any pain anymore, because i tell myself, i did nothing wrong. but i can't figure out what he meant to me right now. if u ask me, will i still be friend with him? i will say no. just because i used to loved him too much, and get these kind of compensate in return. 


i understand love isn't a business. there's no right or wrong, there is no fixed price, there is no fairness in love.


since last week, i make myself full with every plan if possible, just to make myself load with tons of activities. everywhere i go, automatically pops out his face, the place we used to sit before, the meal we ate before..the words he spoke to me before...


if you ask me, if right now he turned back to me, and admit all his fault, will i accept him and get back together?


i would tell you a big no no. rationally, i couldn't accept his unfaithful, by just simply go for another gal after we broke up not even one month, but in my heart, although it has torn into pieces, but, he never leaves, even until now.

the end.

yes, i think wat he did these few days,
indicated that he's foregone this relation.


and we've broke up.


it's almost a 6 months relation.
which i did expect it will grow and stay till forever.
but life's never easy, life's never goes on what u always wanted to be.


i can't hold my tears. 
but i can't make my mom worry.
thus i can only express all my feelings when i'm on my bed.


the way he chatted me yesterday on fb, it's totally shocked me.
i feel so strange by how the way he replied me.
just that i cant accept , is this the one who i've known before?
or is he the one who i 've been together for these days.


i gotta admitted we got lot of happy memories.
i love him, i care for him, thus i felt hurt.
how the way he turned all the problems upside down and pushed to me.
it's really hurt me a lot. but, no pain no gain.


i wonder what's the factor which changed him into another person in just 2days time.
but it doesn't really important anymore right ?
life still go on. i gotta be strong~


even my mom supported me, and told me he doesn't suit me at all.
but, my heart, is already stolen. and now, it's being returned with broken part.

Sweet escape @ penang (22 to 24-04-2011)

past couple of weeks~~ me, leo, sinky, and ernest went to penang for a small escape~

we departed early morning at 6.30a.m.

we dropped by ipoh for breakfast~

the first Cari Makan was Hakka Mee which i've craving for so long!! hahaha

still that nice!! reminded me of my dad where he used to bring us there~ 

After breakfast, we went for a special dessert which near by Hakka Mee stall..

this is what couldn't be found in KL...call 炖蛋~

so special right ?? hehe it tasted NICE!! with the strong smell of egg indeed!

.......................

after breakfast, we continue our journey to Penang~~ wuhuu~~

we reached penang around 11 plus~~

the first thing we did is find Hotel!!

finally we chose Copthorne Orchid Hotel! 

we check in around 430pm after having lunch and had a little shopping for water at Gurney Plaza

after that! headed back to hotel for making payment and straight away jump into bed for nap!!!

we nap until 6plus...then started to dress up for NIGHT LIFE and for sure MORE FOOD!! xD

This was the first day dinner for us which near by Hard Rock Hotel~

Tree Monkey, suggested by sinky's friend~

they serve nice Thai food with natural theme concept of decoration.

it's a restaurant fully covered with trees...u might feel u're dining in jungle

and, sad to say, we missed the best time to have meal with the view of sunset...

if u wanna dine with sunset~ u may visit there at 6.30 to 7.30p.m.

haha~~ photo photo~ before start eating~

my ordered---carrot juice~

look at the decoration on the glass! so cute right!! *blink blink*

Mocha is always his choice~ hoho~~ 

the layer looks so nice~

TOM YAM soup!!

it was SO DAMN NICE!! all of us are missing it after we got back KL...

we must have it again next time!!

pineapple fried rice~

it's call thai phad if i'm not mistaken~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

after dinner, we went to MOIS club for our night life at penang! haha

surprisingly, they didn't check for IC before letting people enters...

hmmphh....couldn't be right ?? but forget about it~

anyway~~ we had an awesome night even though it was not that rocks as at KL~

but still, i prefer ZOUK the most  =D

the next morning, we went for LAKSA!!!!

oh my god!!! it was just so nice!!!

Muaa Zi~~~

after breakfast~ we visit KEK LOK SI for pray~~

haha~~ there's lots of ppl and tourist were there~

just a short visit~

Look at Leo! why he's so happy!! haha

my turn!! just for fun!!!

After Kek Lok Si~

we went 1st avenue shopping mall~

initially we went Pelangi Mall for cendol which strongly recommended by sinky's fren..

but, unfortunately, we can't find it even though we've searched for long time

finally we went Breeks for our high tea session~

hazelnut mocha ? if i'm not mistaken!

it was full of hazelnut smell n taste!

thumbs up!

Some finger food for our high tea session! so yummy~~~

strongly recommended this ice-cream!!

the green color scoops are Mint favor the there's strong coffee taste in the middle scoops!

so so nice!!!  =D

after high tea~ we went back to hotel for taking rest again!! haha

after taking nap~ me n leo went to beach for swimming~~

just a few minutes he swam, we decided back to hotel's swimming pool

just because the beach was so DIRTY!! hem hem

people!! we should protect our environment for a better and cleaner future!!

after that, we start dressing up for dinner!

we went for hawker stall for Fried Kuay Teoww~~

awww~~~

full full and full~~

after that~ went to a cafe which near by Gurney Plaza for chilling session~

enjoyed it so much because the weather that night was nice~~

while chilling, we're enjoying the wind blew on us and playing cards! 

teehee~~

happy can just be that easy as well~

the next day...check out at 12~~

went for Sister Fried Kuey Teow~

after that bought Tau Sha Peah before we headed home..

Nevertheless, we bought lots of Seafood Popiah before we started our jouney~

it was raining when we're on the way...

we reached ipoh around 430pm...

had Ngar Choi Gei as our dinner~~

yummy yummy~~

after that dropped by Indulgence to buy cakes~

Tiramisu by indulgence~ it costed me 14 bucks!!! for this piece of cakes!!

anyhow, i would only rate it 3 .5 out of 5~~

well~~~ our trip ended up with this~~

it was a nice trip for me anyway~~

first time ,,,no, should be second time i have trip with leo...

hope there's more to come  =)

peepssss~~~

Melacca one day trip @ 08-04-2011

last FRIDAY, finally i've submitted all my assignments!!! 

and, bf promised me for a short trip to melacca...purely cari makan trip...hehe

The first station we ate at melacca is dunno wat little but damn freaky famous stall...

bf ordered a bowl of nice asam laksa, but i only took ice-mango-kacang...(to be honest, NOT NICE)

hahahaha

Our 2nd round is NADEJE cakes...

the first time i tried it out is during CNY at pahlawan shopping

this time me n little bf decided to try at other branch which is nearby pahlawan also...

This is bf's cake...melacca sugar~~

This is mine...hehe...

look abit similar with his cake..is DEFINITELY NOT!

mine is berry berry with strawberry..much more nicer haha

his cappuccino with LOVE...haha  and mine is blackcurrant soda~

our little high tea~~ chill~~

 come come picture come~~~  =D

time flies so fast~ after nadeje chilling session is alrdy 5+

rushing back to KL to meet his brother for buffet dinner...

before that, drop by a boutique...

i Love one of the dress...is SO SO NICE...but..is too overprice...

i thought it was 45.90 but i left out the 4 in front of it...it's actually 445.90

there's a nice car on the highway when we're OTW home...

porsche~~

so damn nice!!!

dinner plan with his brother spoilt..cause the time was late...

so, we dined with his gang of frens...

had it at kiyoko japanese buffet at bdr puteri

seriously not nice...i prefer TAOZ but the dinner was happy though

after that planned to go genting and stay over

but due to all rooms were FULLY-BOOKED...thus

we reached there by midnight, and rushing back to home and sleep...

this call off my day...how lovely~~ LOL

Bangkok, Thailand @ January 2011

first time of my life, going to travel with my frens...LEO, LOONG, n CARMEN

and the destination is----THAILAND

awwwwwwwwww~~

actually there's HELL LOTS of photos at facebook~ but then due to my phone was spoilt during travel time, i can only let my frens to be the camera man~ HOHO

this is a small stall selling fresh fruits juices in a night market...That was a really nice streeet with full of stall over there...call KAO SANG~ hahaha 
we went there EVERY NIGHT for 3days....
behind the main road, there's another street with pubs for very economic liquor offereed and SISHA~ that's a real nice place to chill and get escape~ WOW  LOVE iT!

This was breakfast for me n leo at the 2nd day...we gave the breakfast coupons for loong n carmen n we both walked around and find for nice food...it's a stall opened inside a house...kinda nice cuz surprisingly we found a more eastern food, smtg like wat we eat at KL....is cheap though..only 4 buckss HOHO

this is my meal~~~






well~~~ that's a memorable trip though...my frens who went to thailand together finally they coupling afterwards...feel so happy for them well~~`
plan to go there again, is heaven to shop n travel around there! 
LOVE THAILAND hehe  =)

back to life~ back back to life~~

anyway, i have submitted one of my assignment last friday...


feel so good because soon will be two to go...and i've almost done another 1 with 3k words...


i just hate referencing...ISH! why cant just use our words to form the whole essay but want us to read through lots of journals and bla bla bla.....i just dunno WHY lo....




uhmmmmmm......


not feeling happy these few days...wat's wrong with me ??


initially planned to go trip and travel at melacca next friday...


but finally i reject dy....due to my heart feeling not happy...


i'm kinda weirdo...i dont like to keep my unhappy feeling for trip...


so....sounds bit childish...but that's me...i don care...


whhyy must be me the one who always care ???


so does him?????  if he doess....why am i feeling so down because of it ??


and i can just sit beside, and keep quiet...just like i'm an outsider....


well fine fine fine...


imma gotta back to my party life veryy soon~~


i just don care, ppl who understands me will knw who m i....


life's short...mayb tomorrow's the end of the dayyy


i'm not going to stuck there and being a little gal, hoping and waiting for you to change...


i rather i take the first move and go for wat i want! YES!!! I MEAN IT!




gotta back to work....@@....


i'm just so tireddd.....


never give up!!!!!!  keep it on!!!!!!!!